Take, for instance, the other day: I woke up with a horrible head cold and could barely stand up properly. Upon looking in the mirror, it was revealed that my hair resembled that of Russell Brand (pre-Katy Perry, of course...I can barely look at him now that he's with her. He's too....polished and proper looking. How dare he!); I proudly wore this hairstyle for the remainder of the day, social appearances be damned.
Now, normally sharing my likeness with such a celebrity wouldn't be a problem. However, after lying on my Couch of Death for an hour-long reading session and waiting impatiently for The Strokes to come on Ellen, I decided I absolutely needed to bless the world with my presence. And so it was that I ventured out into the summer heat (about 15-20 degrees Celsius) in a billion layers of clothes, so that I ended up looking like this:
|Did you know that my biceps look like tyres?|
No? Well, now you do!
Then, while in the beans aisle of the supermarket, I found myself reaching for a bag of black eyed peas, which immediately prompted me to shout, "DIRTY BIT!" and perform a 5 second, half-assed version of the Robot. I then quickly left the aisle before anyone could give me any dirty looks.
Honestly, I don't even remember anything else after that point -- but I'll take that as a good sign, I suppose. Anyway, the moral of this story is that I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house when I'm sick, as I'm clearly incapable of accessing the part of my brain that handles common sense and rationality under such circumstances.