Friday, December 9, 2011

Christmas Pressies for All!

As a broke student, I sympathize with those who are having a hard time finding affordable gifts for their loved ones this holiday season.  I find that it really helps to set a budget and stick to it, regardless of how awesome that one Dalek alarm clock is. 

 Mind you, this limiting budget is simply the maximum of what you'd be allowing yourself to spend on each person.  If you happen to find a do-able gift for your fantastically annoying brother-in-law for $2 at the dollar store, by all means, have at it (just make sure that you take the price tag off prior to wrapping the present).
My limit this year (as with most years) is $25 for family members, and $20 for friends.  

If you find yourself staring glass-eyed at the various shops in the malls, anticipating a nervous breakdown from the stress of buying gifts for others, fear not!  I've compiled a list of very funny helpful gift suggestions for $25 (or less) to save you from your gift-giving rut.

For Your Significant Other

What better way to spread the love than by giving your beloved a plush model of the Herpes virus?  You'll get bonus points if, on the gift tag, you write 'Herpes is forever -- just like our love.'

For the Crash Dieter
  If you are acquainted with a frequent crash dieter, you're probably constantly regaled with comments such as 'Oh my godddd, I am so fat!' and 'I would kill for a piece of chocolate right now'.  If this is the case, this gift will probably be viewed as a god-send.  For $7, your loved one can adequately get her chocolate fix without any of those pesky calories -- which is perfect, since she's probably getting ready to start the cayenne pepper diet as soon as the leftovers from Christmas day are cleared out of the fridge.

For the Classy Drunk


Whether they're a broke student, stressed and indulgent parent, or a sassy sophisticate, one thing remains: you  probably have at least one classy drunk on your list.  This glass fits an entire bottle of wine, thereby allowing your classy drunk to avoid judgment when people ask pesky questions such as 'Haven't you had enough for one night?' or 'Back for more?'


For Everybody Else on your List

I don't know about you, but I often find myself wondering what ice cream would taste like if I were en route to Jupiter.  Pay close attention to those loved ones on your shopping list in the coming weeks.  If they  say something to the effect of, "I really wish I could eat like an astronaut without ever having to leave my house," I suggest that you promptly order him or her this awesome space food smorgasbord.

If you need more gift-giving inspiration, you can totally consult my helpful list from last year. Just remember: giftcards are never ok...they just show that you're a lazy bum.


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